安迪的垃圾堆

年輕時持久的定義是，敦倫間能持久而不射。

中年時持久的定義是，使用的工具能持久的堅挺。

老年時持久的定義是，持久的性慾望。

“Value this time in your life kids, because this is the time in your life when you still have your choices, and it goes by so quickly. When you’re a teenager you think you can do anything, and you do. Your twenties are a blur. Your thirties, you raise your family, you make a little money and you think to yourself, “What happened to my twenties?” Your forties, you grow a little pot belly you grow another chin. The music starts to get too loud and one of your old girlfriends from high school becomes a grandmother. Your fifties you have a minor surgery. You’ll call it a procedure, but it’s a surgery. Your sixties you have a major surgery, the music is still loud but it doesn’t matter because you can’t hear it anyway. Seventies, you and the wife retire to Fort Lauderdale, you start eating dinner at two, lunch around ten, breakfast the night before. And you spend most of your time wandering around malls looking for the ultimate in soft yogurt and muttering “how come the kids don’t call?” By your eighties, you’ve had a major stroke, and you end up babbling to some Jamaican nurse who your wife can’t stand but who you call mama. Any questions?”

第一次看這電影是二十幾歲，覺得 Billy Crystal 講淂滿好笑的。現在看已經笑不出來了，因為講得滿傳神的，還真感覺如此。

• The great umbilical cord-cutting debate